why hasn't anyone invented this process

I just want to have a hysterectomy and then keep my uterus in a little formaldehyde filled space-like time capsule and then when I am ready to reproduce my husband (or hired baby daddy) can wank off into it and I can watch my baby grow from afar. that could happen right?

BIRTH CONTROL BITCHES

YAY NO CONDOMS RIGHT? WRONG.

Both control day 11 stream of consciousness:

I hate my job/I need a new one/ Why did I chose this anyway/ where are all my friends?/ they aren't really my friends anyway/ i basically dont have any friends/ my boyfriend doesnt even know me/we should just break up who cares anyway/ all I care about is eating all day long/ what am I doing with my stupid stupid life I am just letting it pass me by floundering around like a lunatic.....

Text from a girl at work:

Are you ok? You seem weird.

Text back:

Yes I'm fine thanks.

What I'm actually thinking:

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE GET OFF MY FUCKING CASE SHEEESH

mmm delicious little hormonal loon tablets.